


In the Locker Room

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: Luciferian Fics (One shots) [5]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Missing Scene from S2x07, Naked Lucifer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: A missing scene from Episode S2x07.  No one seemed to notice Lucifer's wing scars in the bathhouse... but Dan did in the locker room!  :-)A very short one-shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmyIsARealPhelps](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyIsARealPhelps/gifts), [ScooterThyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScooterThyme/gifts).



> This is dedicated to AmyIsARealPhelps for the plot bunny ("Why doesn't anyone notice Lucifer's scars in the bathhouse?"), and my incredible beta, ScooterThyme, who took the time from real life to beta this for me at the very last minute. Thank you both!! You are both super-duper awesome!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar and Dan Espinoza are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

“What the hell happened to your back?”

Lucifer turned in the locker room at Dan’s enquiry.  They had arrived at the exclusive bathhouse where Boris Sokolov was at and, after gaining entry, started undressing in order to meet the criminal.

The Devil was trying hard to be the Douche for an edge on how to be... well, Douche-like.  He was tired of being himself -- always hurting others, even if unintentionally.  And sometimes intentionally, as well.  A sharp pain squeezed his heart at the thought of his brother, Uriel, lying in a grave because of him.  Dead, by his hand.  

Shaking off the memory, the fallen angel concentrated hard on being Dan.  The Tool.  The Douche.  Yes, he could do this.  All he had to do was channel Douchedom, and he could get through all of this.  Be someone else for a change -- someone well-liked by everyone.  Someone who didn’t hurt anyone.  Lucifer desperately wanted to leave all of his worries behind... at least for a day.

“But Lucifer, I mean... dude, those scars are... what the hell?” Dan continued, staring at his back.

Lucifer blinked.  He was pretty sensitive about his scars, where his divinity had once been.  In truth, he was surprised Dan would make mention of them.  Most people tended to ignore them, their eyes sliding away from the raised ridges and discolored skin like they were ashamed to see them.  The only human who ever mentioned them was the Detective... and now the Douche.  He sighed.  

“It’s nothing to be concerned about,” he said simply as he removed his trousers.  “If anything, the scars will help us look like the criminals we are supposed to be.”

“Yeah, but... geez, Lucifer,” Dan said again.

Frustration started gnawing on the fallen angel.  He didn’t want to be pitied, especially by the Douche!  Desperate to get the man’s thoughts off of his back, Lucifer did the only thing he could -- he got naked.

“Right.  If you really want something to gawk at, take a gander at this!” he cried, pointing to his wedding tackle with a grin.  “Isn’t it glorious?  Now you won’t find anything more splendid than naked me --”

“Oh for god’s sake, put on a towel!” Dan cried as he threw a towel in the Devil’s face.  “I’m not going to study your anatomy!”

“Why not?  Afraid to be shown up?”  Lucifer chuckled.  “Or afraid you might actually be attracted to my --”

_ “Shut up!” _

Lucifer was not to be dissuaded.  “Oh come on, Dan, show us what you’ve got.  Don’t be shy, now!  I know it’s hard to compete with perfection, but --”

“You know what?  Just... just put on your towel and let’s go,” the human growled as he turned away, whipped off his clothes and hurriedly put on his towel before Lucifer could inspect his package.

The Devil smiled.  Well, that was easy.  Now he could once again go back to concentrating on being Dan Number Two....


End file.
